Beautiful Disaster

I had good intentions of being the perfect wife and mother...I just don't think it's going to work out for me. My house is an absolute mess, but I would prefer to call it a beautiful disaster. It is the place our little family calls home.

I don't cook. There are baby toys and clothes and swings and bouncers and tummy time mats and everything he could possibly need all over the place. I need to vacuum, dust, clean the bathrooms, do the laundry and do the dishes, but instead I am holding Hayden while he sleeps as I write this. But that is what I would rather be doing. When I get home from work, I don't want to clean...I want to spend time with him because I haven't seen him all day. On the weekends, I want to spend time with him and do fun things that we missed out on all week. I could go through life always making sure that I did everything right, but then I would look back and wish I had spent more time enjoying the small things. That's what I live for...the small everyday moments that you don't realize just how special they are until they're gone.

I was given a book called "Let Me Hold You Longer" and it talks about how mothers always take pictures of all the firsts...first step, first word, first tooth, etc., but what about the lasts? These moments go unrecognized until its too late. Then you're left wondering what you would have done had you known it was the last time. I want to cherish every moment as if it were the last so I don't have to ask myself that question.

So all of the "mess" just shows that a lot of love is shared in this house and in the end that is what really matters.