Count Your Blessings

My thoughts have been pretty deep lately because I have been in a serious funk, but I am a glass half full kind of person and I seriously need to snap out of it. I had a good cry the other day and it's all good.

First and foremost, I should clarify that I am abundantly blessed and truly thankful for this life.

Hayden had to have some bloodwork done the other day to test for mono, immune deficiency, elevated white blood counts and a list of other things and I happened to be by myself with him. He's had blood drawn before for allergy testing and it was not fun then so I was even more anxious this time because he is older and knew what was coming. I psyched myself up for it, had a little talk with Jesus and as any desperate mother would do I told Hayden he could have whatever he wanted when we were done. As I sat there, having to literally hold him down knowing that he was hurting without understanding why, I wept. I say wept because cried would be an understatement. I was a mess and the phlebotomist probably thought I was nuts. I wept for my child for obvious reasons, but even more so I wept for the mothers who have to endure so much more than we have. The ones who have children with cancer or a terminal illness and have to deal with that every single day. It was about so much more than the blood draw that only lasted a few minutes and we certainly survived through. When you take the time to think about the world around you, you will surely find goodness in your own life. And next time I know to ask for Lidocaine. :)

Hayden's doctor told me the other day that we have essentially done everything we can for him and he is probably just going to be sick all the time. As sad and frustrated as this makes me and as much as it sucks to actually say this, I am thankful that as far as we know he only has chronic sinusitis, asthma, allergies and tonsillitis to name a few. I hate it for him, but that is our normal and we just keep on doing the best we can.

My co-worker recently lost her mother to a ten-year battle with early onset Alzheimer's. I went to dinner with her the other night and felt ashamed at how much I had let the small stuff get to me. She shared with me about how she rode with her mom in the ambulance from the hospital to their home where she would be receiving Hospice care and it was the first time in years her mother had been coherent and even knew who she was. For but a fleeting moment, she looked into her mother's eyes and found the woman she had once known. We let so many moments pass us by and when we want to make them stand still, we simply can't. Don't let life pass you by.

Next time financial woes creep into your life, think about the orphan, the widow and the homeless. We are richly blessed.

Most importantly, this Thanksgiving, this Christmas and every other day, find the time to love and bless others.

All that really matters in the end is that you loved.